Mustard Plug

Yellow mustard is possibly the greatest invention ever. It is made from the ground seeds of a mustard plant, and it is the only mustard that is least likely to make the eyes water or inflame ones nasal passages. That and it’s FUCKING DE-LISH! Seriously, when I was a kid I hated it and now I could gargle it. I’m just mad about mustard. It could be the only condiment in my abode and I would suffer no doldrums.

Here is a poem that hath been inspired by mustard:

Symbiotic appleseed Johnny loveless

Morose torso low forty duckets

Pension guaranteed sinister cooperation

Member at attention in a yellow situation

Smarty mouth

This is a green plug for my podcast that I decided to create last night while considerably inebriated. Check`er out:

http://comedycum.mypodcast.com/index.html

Getting Old

It gets harder to cross your legs in a big comfy chair

It gets harder to not get a headache when staring at the PC                       it makes cigarettes a martyr

It makes water smarter

It makes you appreciate music

It takes you farther

It takes it easy

It makes life cheesy

It damns It to hell

It says to fall down the well

Its harder to wake up

It has to piss in a cup

It hurts to run

Its to much fun

It laughs at the picture

It reads scripture

It keeps clean for…what?

It dies like a slut